The Next Virus: Anger

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While experts try to plot where the coronavirus will do the most damage, there is a second wave of infection whose germs are already planted, one that I am growing more worried about.

Festering, this secondary disease is already growing and it’s heading toward an explosion. And like the first outbreak, we seem ill-prepared to handle it. 

To be clear, I am talking about anger. 

Anger, unchecked and raw, rising from the thousands and thousands of preventable deaths. An anger that is not just personal, but societal. Already, our news feeds are filling with gut wrenching accounts of people taken by the virus, often, being deprived of a final embrace of a loved one before the end. 

CNN featured one such story, one of no doubt thousands: Maureen Lewinger, whose husband Joe kept getting worse and worse. Her final moments with Joe were spent via FaceTime.

 "I thanked him for being the most amazing husband, for making me feel cherished and loved every single day," Lewinger told CNN. 

Then, she said, the doctor said her husband’s pulse was gone.

"I played our wedding song for him. And then that was it," she said.

The interview left anchor Erin Burnett in tears. You will cry, too. 

This morning, I learned that a journalism colleague from my AP days was taken by COVID-19. A leading technology writer, and certainly about as plugged in to news and information as anyone could be, Nick Jesdanun died at age 51. He was a veteran marathon runner, by the way.

These hammer blows, coming at us in rapid succession, have already cracked our psyche, taken root. We are beyond exposed, our emotions are actively infected, and I suspect the pathology is following what some psychologists call the “Kübler-Ross model,” or the five stages of grief. 

While drawing an analogy is risky, it’s worth thinking about at least the first two stages. 

We certainly went through Stage One, denial. Spring Breakers on beaches, check. Lack of statewide stay-home orders, check. Delayed and confused responses to protective gear and medical equipment, check. Some governors, incredibly, are still denying it. We had whole nations pursue contrarian “herd immunity” theories until, too late, they released those concepts are basically insane without a vaccine. 

And I denied it, too. At least a little. And so did you. This compounds the grief, because you and I unwittingly stirred the viral pot, increasing the chances of spread when we should have been at home. Me? I went to performance at the Arsht Center on March 8, a showing of Star Wars at a concert hall filled with a live orchestra and hundreds of people. I even may have invited you, some of my Key Biscayne neighbors, to come. Sure, we fist-bumped and washed hands, but what were we thinking? Would we be in the state we are in if in March, the stay-at-home orders were in effect? 

Stage Two is Anger. And that’s where we are now. Denial can no longer feasibly continue, so anger builds. It is a result of frustration, that nothing we can do can reverse the losses that we have had and the ones that are sure to come.  The virus that will kill these loved ones was likely transmitted weeks ago. The powerlessness feeds into the anger, for we Americans don’t like being powerless. 

Now, you may know the rest of the stages – Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. I’m not sure if we will ever get to those as long as anger continues to build. 

The reason I’m concerned is that our nation’s stomach, if you will, already has been dealing with some major ulcers for years now. I don’t know that it can handle any more acid.

More anger will lead to more grief, and more frustration. And the resulting hole in our body politic will make the polarized environment we had during the calm days of a presidential impeachment trial look positively serene in comparison.

This anger is not abstract, doesn’t involve Russia or Ukraine or Trump or Hillary or Benghazi. It involves grandma and grandpa, your mom and dad, or maybe your friend. Maybe even you. (As I write this, Iawait a test result). UPDATE - I tested positive Apr. 5th

I don’t know that I have an answer to this wave of rage that is coming. But coming it is. And as surely as we do everything we can to conduct tests and support our medical workers, rescue the economy and protect the vulnerable, I also know we need to start thinking NOW about how to handle this grief, anger, and pain. It will last a lot longer than COVID will.  It is a generation-changing event, like World War II. Think of the scars of that conflict.

In addition to docs, nurses, and ventilators we also will need every competent therapist, pastor, and counselor we can muster. We will have to figure out, somehow, what to do with this rage. It is real, it must not be denied, but it also must have a non-destructive outlet.

Because that’s what a killer virus does – it gets the body’s immune system to attack itself. 

Let’s not do it to each other.